One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Sober January is a disaster.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
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