i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
