i permit you to call me
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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