My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
