I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Randomize
