Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
