It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
