No stitches, just platelets and will power
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
