he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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