It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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