peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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