Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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