Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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