Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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