Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
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