Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
