why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
