I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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