yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
