Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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