If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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