Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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