if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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