You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
