she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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