Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
