after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
COCAINE IS GR8
I licked your asshole in confidence.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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