I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
