Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
