I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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