I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
You're completely useless in the revolution.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I currently don't understand fingers.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
