he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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