The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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