Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
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She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
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I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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