Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
