Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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