He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
