I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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