Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
