I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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