do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
