College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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