friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
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Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
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And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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