dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
