So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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