your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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