i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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