Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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