i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
