real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize