By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
