seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
