I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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