True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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