No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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