I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
