I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Randomize
