my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
